An Adventure in Unpreparedness

Last Sunday, we experienced one of those holy sh*t type parenting adventures where we were utterly surprised, somewhat stressed and a tad unprepared for a very necessary milestone that my son had to undertake.

My rambunctious and fearless little boy decided that being just shy of 20 months meant it was the perfect time for him to free himself from the confines of his crib and proceeded to repeatedly jump, climb and pull himself out of his cage crib during bedtime. 6 times.

Yes, his crib was lowered to the lowest setting. No, he doesn't have any extra blankets or pillows that he was using as a 'step' to help lift himself out.

The one thing that you need to know about Keaton is that he is a very strong-willed little dude. Right from the moment that he came into our lives, his personality was very apparent- he knew what he wanted, what he liked, and what (and who) he didn’t. He is determined and fearless when it comes to adventure and he will stubbornly figure things out until he achieves exactly what he wants to achieve. Hence his new found crib-escape-tactic.

For the sake of his safety and my sanity, we only had one option- it was time to give him a Big Boy Bed.

We quickly scrambled to rearrange his room since by this point, it was already an hour or so past his bedtime and we were all a little tired and frantic. Out went anything that he could potentially climb on or fall over (bye-bye glider) and we removed any enticing objects from the tops of his dressers (adios picture frames and lamp). Lastly, we took off one side of his crib, added the little guardrail, and turned his crib into a daybed.

We hadn't planned on making this transition until closer to his 2nd birthday (honestly, the plans that we make are sometimes laughable). But it had to be done.

New setup- not too shabby for a hasty room revamp!

The night was long. And it was rough. For all of us.

Now, both my husband and I are supporters of gentle, Cry-It-Out methods when it comes to sleep training. Contrary to the many, many opinions of Mothers whom I both admire and respect, CIO worked for us. We tweaked it in a way that made us feel comfortable with our choice and it definitely helped our kids learn some healthy sleeping habits. However, since both of my kids successfully learnt how to fall asleep on their own at a pretty early age, I found myself feeling almost physically and emotionally unable to handle the persistent, pissed off crying and the wilful pounding and kicking against the door that very clearly expressed his outrage regarding this new sleeping arrangement.  It definitely wasn't something that I was prepared for, especially since his big sister graduated to a Big Girl Bed at 20 months and had no issues whatsoever. No tears, no kicking, no feelings of extreme guilt on my part. And while I know that it's pointless to compare the kids because their personalities are so different, I was still shell-shocked and unprepared for his reaction. Bedtime in our house is usually quick. Easy. Quiet. A quick hug and a kiss and they're out for the night. Not tonight.

I definitely had a - “what the hell am I supposed to do?” moment.

Do I lay with him until he falls asleep? (But what if he wants me to do that every night).
Do I keep doing the [go back in, cuddle, kiss, leave] routine? (He gets more and more pissed off every time I come in, just to leave again).
Do I just leave him in there and let him eventually cry himself to sleep? (No. He's well past the point of being able to calm himself down and fall asleep peacefully).

I felt awful. It was starting to look like the WORST First Night in a Big Boy Bed. Ever.

Cuddles

There were a lot of tears. Lots of cuddling, lots of rocking and shushing. But eventually, he fell asleep on his own. On the floor. Beside his door.

At least he was asleep.

 

It's been just over 1 week since his Big Boy Bed adventure began and every night has gotten so much better than the last. It's amazing. I fully admit that I had very little faith that he would get it and get it so quickly. I foresaw weeks and weeks of the crying and the door kicking and the guilt. But no, he is a trooper. He's a sweetheart. He's awesome.



With every passing night, he'd sleep closer and closer to his crib.

 

On the verge of falling out, but it still counts as being "in" the bed.
 

YES!

I'm a firm believer that you can never really be prepared to become a parent. Sure, there are definitely ways and things and people that can help guide you towards being somewhat prepared. But are you ever really prepared? No. You have no idea what kind of little (or big!) personality is going to be making its way into your life and altering your family dynamic. Even if you’re already a parent, bringing a fresh little being home is a completely new and unique experience than the others. Are you a little more prepared to handle the crying? Yes. Are you more equipped to handle the colic, the projectile vomit and diaper-explosive poops? Yes. Are you a little more calm? Yes. But are you really prepared for the adventure ahead? No. 

I am in constant awe at how much my kids are not only able to surprise me, but to teach me. They teach me that I have more patience than I think I have. They teach me to have a little more faith in their ability to learn and overcome these somewhat stressful milestones. And they remind me that I need to just soak in the moments- even the crazy ones - because they pass so quickly. 

December 2012. This little munchkin was 20 months and all excited for her Big Girl Bed.
Look at those cheeks! I miss that baby face. 

While Keaton lay in bed trying to calm down and fall asleep during that first night, I lay beside him, rubbing his little head and his little back and I forced all of the worries and doubts about what was to come out of my mind. My focus was on the moment. All I kept thinking was, he will only have his First Night in a Big Boy Bed once. And the adventure that we shared that night was incredible.

This weekend, we were are all so excited to find a real Big Boy Bed for Keaton. One that he will grow into and keep until his toes reach the foot boards and that he'll maybe even bring with him when he moves out...if I ever let him.

Here I go, over-planning and over-thinking again...

 It's official. A Big Boy Bed, complete with Ninja Turtle sheets for my Little Man.
Don't even get me started about how nostalgic I feel about not having a crib in my house anymore.

I hope you all had a wonderful and adventure-filled weekend with the little loves in your lives.

Xo
M