Eight.

When I think back to this day 8 years ago, it still surprises me at how young we were. Yet at 21 & 22 years old, we knew exactly what we wanted- each other. There are choices in this life that will scare you. Choices that will test your strength, your courage, your faith. But the choice that we made that day, together, was so simple. So easy. And it has brought me even more happiness than I could have ever imagined.

You have been my best friend for over 13 years. You are the first person who I run to when my days are dark and you’re the first person who I want to celebrate with when things are looking up. You are such a strong source of positivity when I am all too quick to be negative and you are a constant reminder that laughter is such an important part of life.

You are an incredible father to our babies and I there are no words to express how happy it makes me to see how bright their little faces light up when you walk into a room. You continue to teach our daughter what it truly means to be valued in this world and you show our son what it means to be a true, hard-working and honest man. 

I can’t imagine going through this amazing adventure without you by my side. You have and always will be my absolute favourite person in the world and I cannot wait to see what other adventures are to come. Thank you for filling the last 8 years with incredible memories, amazing achievements and fulfilled dreams. 

I love you with all of my heart, forever and always. Happy anniversary Derek.

Xo

M

The Messy Truth

Books, empty yogurt tube wrappers, crayons, hair accessories of all kinds, fire trucks and bouncy balls. 

Among the dust and crumbs that accumulate on my floors and under my couches, these are some of the many hidden treasures that I often find- forgotten, misplaced or simply stashed away in hiding spots all over my house. The fact that my 2 and 4 year old can occasionally make my house look like a frat house is just the honest truth.

Most of my Mom-friends will agree with me when I say that uninterrupted cleaning is THE BEST kind of cleaning and often very hard to come by. So in the hour that I had to myself the other day, before my kids came home from school, I was in my kitchen, frantically trying to peel stickers off the floor and give my house some much needed TLC. Then it dawned on me- I am fully slipping in the house cleaning department. 

This is no exaggeration. The laundry is piling up (and unfortunately, not folding itself). I don’t mop my floors as often as I should. The same can be said for vacuuming. I can’t remember the last time I cleaned my blinds and the dust bunnies living behind the TV really, really need to be evicted. 

I could go on.

It’s so easy for my moments of self-reflection to turn in a negative direction- ‘I should be better than this’. I should do a couple loads of laundry every day’. ‘I should make a cleaning schedule and try my best to stick to it’. ‘I need to set a better example for the kids’. And again, I could go on.

But honestly, my harsh reality is this – I’m doing the best that I can. 

I don’t (and wouldn’t EVER) claim to have the cleanest house. I have my share of junk drawers and closets that need gutting. I skip laundry days because by the time the kids are in bed and I’m finished working, mothering, juggling, etc. I’m seriously just too exhausted to worry about the clothes that are waiting to be folded. Don’t get me wrong- I LOVE a clean house, I clean as frequently and as often as I can and I certainly don’t do everything by myself. My kids are fantastic helpers and so is my husband. But let’s face it- life is just too busy to have a perfectly immaculate, mess-free house, every.single.day.

I’ve learned (and am still learning) to appreciate the chaos. As much as I’d love to fake it and pretend to have all of my sh*t together- I can’t. I don’t. And that’s totally okay with me. My home is my safe haven from the pressures of needing to be “perfect” and the people in it remind me that the mess is okay- that there’s beauty among madness.

So there it is- my messy truth.     

But I’m hoping that there are people out there who are like me. People who aren’t ashamed of not having it all together. People who sometimes forget to change the laundry and who will occasionally forgo an afternoon of cupboard reorganizing and baseboard cleaning because taking the kids to the park, to a movie, to a party – anything, is way more fun. And people who know that it’s totally okay to see the value in making messy memories with your family rather than stressing about the clean-up.

This is what happens when you live with a 2 year old and a 4 year old and skip a week of sweeping.

So here’s hoping that you find the time to stress less about the chaos and just enjoy the beauty of the moment. And when you get around to cleaning, grab a few extra hands, turn up the Hit List and have just as much fun with the clean up as you did while making the mess. 

XO

M

Pause.

I can’t even begin to explain where the time has gone or how insanely busy we’ve become. The days go by in a blur, filled with commitments of all kinds, and I naively keep telling myself that the calmness will come. 

I have been missing this space of mine. I’m constantly thinking of when to find the time to put my thoughts to paper and where I would even begin to catch up. 

Lately, I’ve been worried. Worried about forgetting. Forgetting to stop- to breathe, to savour, to appreciate. I worry that all of the juggling each day is making me lose sight of the important things. The important moments. And I don’t want to be that Mom. The Mom who forgets to pack a swimsuit in her daughter’s schoolbag, so she’s stuck in wet clothes all afternoon because she didn’t want to miss out on playing in the sprinkler with her classmates (really, who needs a swimsuit anyways?). The Mom who doesn’t notice that her son has almost mastered putting on his own shoes and that he could very well be ready to potty train if he just had a little consistency. The Mom who rushes through bedtime stores (if the kids even get any) because there is something to clean, something to bake, somewhere else to go. 

I know that it’s okay to sometimes be this Mom. But I don’t want to be. 

So I’m trying to stop. Trying to take in the moments again. Trying to appreciate that not everything has to be so busy and that sometimes, you just have to pause, spend the morning in your pajamas, surround yourself with your favourite little faces and just snuggle. 

Here's hoping that you all get a quiet moment where you can pause all of the juggling and just breathe.

Xo

M