Pause.

I can’t even begin to explain where the time has gone or how insanely busy we’ve become. The days go by in a blur, filled with commitments of all kinds, and I naively keep telling myself that the calmness will come. 

I have been missing this space of mine. I’m constantly thinking of when to find the time to put my thoughts to paper and where I would even begin to catch up. 

Lately, I’ve been worried. Worried about forgetting. Forgetting to stop- to breathe, to savour, to appreciate. I worry that all of the juggling each day is making me lose sight of the important things. The important moments. And I don’t want to be that Mom. The Mom who forgets to pack a swimsuit in her daughter’s schoolbag, so she’s stuck in wet clothes all afternoon because she didn’t want to miss out on playing in the sprinkler with her classmates (really, who needs a swimsuit anyways?). The Mom who doesn’t notice that her son has almost mastered putting on his own shoes and that he could very well be ready to potty train if he just had a little consistency. The Mom who rushes through bedtime stores (if the kids even get any) because there is something to clean, something to bake, somewhere else to go. 

I know that it’s okay to sometimes be this Mom. But I don’t want to be. 

So I’m trying to stop. Trying to take in the moments again. Trying to appreciate that not everything has to be so busy and that sometimes, you just have to pause, spend the morning in your pajamas, surround yourself with your favourite little faces and just snuggle. 

Here's hoping that you all get a quiet moment where you can pause all of the juggling and just breathe.

Xo

M

Two.

My littlest love, this post may be a few days late, but it’s because I spent the last few days just taking it all in. 

I can’t believe it’s already been two years since I first met you and kissed your fuzzy little head. I still remember how strong you were, before you were born. Your giant kicks would turn my belly into some incomprehensible shapes that would completely freak your Dad out. You were so strong then and you’ve grown into such a strong and determined little boy with the gentlest heart. 

You are my little daredevil- fearless when it comes to adventure, yet you have your Mama’s quiet, introverted personality. You stand back and take it all in before you make your move and you are so particular with who you let into your little world. 

I love your wild little spirit and your frustrating stubbornness. You have added such a fun dynamic to our family and you make every day its own little adventure. I am so lucky and proud to be your Mom and I hope that all of your birthday wishes came true.

Happy birthday my love.

xo

Mom

I still love you, Mom

These days have been busy. Actually, that’s an understatement. These days have been…insane. I absolutely love my new job and the new and exciting responsibilities that I have. It’s been amazing absorbing this new role of mine and learning new things every day. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever been this passionate about work. However, that being said, it has definitely been hard to shut off from work once I’m home and focus my attention on the important people in my life.

My kids definitely notice that I’m working more- Belles especially. Just last night she said, “I feel angry sometimes when you’re working so much, but I still love you Mom”. Nice, huh? And Keaton expresses his frustration as much as he can for an almost 2 year old- mostly it’s exasperated whining while clinging to my legs and asking me to “Ma! Sit Down!” while holding his favourite Trucks book and waiting for me to read it to him.

But I’m definitely trying. I’m trying to balance my new-found passion for work with my little loves at home who need my attention and encouragement, while also balancing time with my husband who has been ridiculously understanding of the fact that I now seem to be glued to my phone as I’m constantly checking emails at all hours of the day to make sure I’m not missing anything. And I’m also still trying to balance some time for myself- time away from it all to just focus on strengthening myself- my body, my mind…just trying to find the balance of it all. 

But through all of the balancing and juggling, I’m so grateful. Grateful for an understanding and patient husband, and amazing kids who love me amidst the chaos. 

I am so looking forward to this weekend. I’m looking forward to celebrating Mother’s Day with my little family and celebrating all of the Moms who I know, love and admire who also manage to juggle it all. 

To say that it’s hard to be a Mom is an understatement. But it’s such a privilege to be blessed with such amazing little beings who make the chaos of it all completely worth it.

Wishing all of the Moms that I know and love, a truly amazing Mother’s Day.

Xo

M